When I was on my way to school today, it was drizzling. I was inside a vehicle and I was looking at the window panes. And on the side mirrors which had blotted water, a realization hit me. That, finally, summer is going to be over. 

Summer for me is the best thing that happens in a year. It's the coolest thing next to Christmas. During summer, I become an officially licensed bum at home and an imaginative professional swimmer when I'm at the beach. It's really fun even when the heat is sometimes nerve-wrecking. 

And now, summer is finally over. I'll be packing my swim suit again and put it in the inner core of my closet. I'll be hiding my the leftover sunblock because next year its price will be higher. Everything will be back to normal and the summer commercial hype about beaches, bikinis, flat tummies, white sand, halo-halo, and everything else will be stored into soft copy memories. 

I sure am gonna miss summer and the whole sweetness of it. OIh well, there's always next year.

Now that Mother's Day is just around the corner, I begin to think about my mother a lot. I think all mothers are naturally endowed with t.l.c. towards every big and small thing that they do. And these make them so lovable and so cherishing in their children's hearts. 

Whenever I think about my mother, there's a tinge of worry and smile that pop altogether in my mind. Worry because I am not always with her, especially when I go out. Believe it or not, I do miss her when I am away, even for just a short period. Smile because there's a lot to smile about my mother. I am not like those shiny teeth girls in commercials who  broadcast to the world that their mothers are their best friends. 

My mother is definitely and honestly NOT my best friend. And you know what, even if that is the case, it's all good. Because I think all relationships have their levels. And if I level my mother with the level I have with my pals and best friends, it would be hard for her to discipline me. 

My mother is a strong woman, maybe all mothers are. She's the type who doesnt bloat problems to people and also not the type who enjoy listening to people's problems too. It's funny because she taught me that problems should not be, shall I say, "problemize". I heard in one tv show that "life is short, so don't make it shorter". It's true. And my mother taught me that, without verbally telling me, she showed me.

That is just one thing from the numerous great qualities my mother has. And I'm sure your mother has a beautiful quality as well.

I have this beauitful dog. Her name is Charlotte. Don't ask me how I got her name. It popped in my mom's head and suddenly the puppy's name (3 years ago) became  Charlotte. She's been good to us, cheerful, loving, protective, caring, a real best friend. And we're very much expecting that nothing bad would happen to her. She's the kind of dog who is strong and confident. She's physically charming and attractive and very courageous. She's been with us for many years.

Three weeks ago, Charlotte had an accident. My father, who has a record of carelessness in his system, accidentally ran over Charlotte with his car. I wish I could tell this story with compassion and consideration for my father but I could not. I guess you could say that I am very sympathic over Charlotte. Because if you see her now, all's changed.

Now, Charlotte has a lower back trouble. She broke her one back leg. So now, she has trouble walking. She could not run anymore as she used to. The happy dog that we used to look at turned into a remotely sad dog. You see, Charlotte's smart and she can't help being so. And she knows that she now has disability.

I must admit, I am also careless. When I am really in a hurry, I forget to finish some things. I neglect to fix some things too. And I keep on remembering what my mother used to tell me when I was young about being careful. It is true. We must be careful. We don't know who we might end up hurt from our actions and we don't know how grave the hurt will be for our victim.

What I just told you is a simple story, not the cute romantic fairy tale that always ends up happy. And I know some of you might be thinking, "come on, it's just a bitch...". You're probably right. She's just that. She's just that to you but she's a lot more for me, and for all of us in my family. I really do feel for her.

Sometimes I feel like I have made wrong choices in my life. Like I have not strictly thought about the effects/consequences of the decisions I quickly made from the past. Especially, when it comes to love, I guess. It's not an easy task to commit for me. I hated commitment more than anything in the world. When things go wrong, I instantly gets angry with myself. And I relive what happened in the past and wishes that I have never made the move on love. And I know it's all terrible.  It's horridly unforgivable to blame myself and regret things I have done just because things didnt go the way I hoped it would. I know that one must not always rant on a journal but I cant help it. Most people are maybe tired of listening or reading stuff of pessimism from others. But I cant help it. I choose not to avoid ranting just to please people. However, I dont rejoice giving eyesore to readers whenever I rant. But, writing is my outlet, a key to extinguish the fire in my heart. I'm not saying that ranting is the highlight of my life, that it's the only thing that keeps on going during my day. And I am sorry if I am harsh when I rant. But I am like this. And I'm sure many people are too.